How Can I Protect You?
by SniperZombies
Summary: Snape meets a young woman who slowly breaks through his barriers, and he is torn between being who he wants to be, and who he has to be.
1. Comfort Zone

How Can I Protect You?

Author's note: All characters belong to J.K Rowling. A Snape/OC character starting during The Goblet of Fire. Always looking for a challenge, I wanted to create a story that would extend to the end of the series that involved Snape discovering how to love again after Lily. The challenge was to write in a character that wasn't already there, so I hope the continuity fits. If anything is off, please let me know.

Summary: Snape meets a young woman who slowly breaks through his barriers, and he is torn between being who he wants to be, and who he has to be.

Chapter 1 - Comfort Zone

"So how can I protect you in this, crazy world?

It's alright, yeah, it's alright." -Alabama 3

Snape sat alone in his classroom, the general good spirits of Hogwart's during the Triwizard tournament fouled his mood more than usual. Half-heartedly he flipped through papers he knew he should grade, his mind elsewhere. He shivered. Too distracted to work, he decided to walk down to the great hall for a cup of tea. The chatter of excited students echoed through the halls and quickly diminished as they approached Professor Snape. His reputation sparked fear in the first years and many of the forth and fifth years as well. He simply had to sneer, as they scrambled to get out of his way. The great hall was almost empty, except for a young woman with deep plum hair tied back in an elegant bun. As Snape approached her he realized they were tiny braids with multicolored beads threaded through them. Her back was facing him as she poured herself a cup of tea from a kettle sitting on one of the professor's tables. He didn't recognize her but she was too old to be a student. Cautiously he moved forward, displeased at the idea of making small talk. He wanted to turned around, go back to the comfort of his classroom, but he was drawn to her slender frame. She was wearing deep green robes with gold accents that curled up her back like ivy, only accenting her petit waist more. The warmth of the room, the glow of the candles and the sweet smell of spices enchanted him and when she turned to face him, he found he could not speak.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't hear you behind me." She laughed, obviously startled. The tea splashed over the sides of the porcelin cup and Snape came back to reality.

"Let me." He averted his eyes and picked up a napkin from the table. Focusing on the cup of tea hard enough to burn a hole in it.

"Thank you." She smiled and he dared to look up. Cold dark eyes met vibrant hazel ones. She had a petit face, tiny nose and large expressive eyes. Snape felt a twinge in his heart when a familiar face came into his mind.

She couldn't help but notice a flcker of sadness in his dark eyes. He stood tall, quite a bit taller than her. With broad shoulders he held himself with an air of dignity. He had an odd look on his face, like he was trying to process a million things at once. He was wearing long black robes, fitted around the waist with long sleeves that covered his hands.

"You must be Professor Snape. I'm a new Auror, the Ministry sent me here to watch the school for a few weeks. I'm training under Alastar Moody." She felt the heat rush to her cheeks. "My name is Odillia Pepper."

"Charmed." Snape answered in his usual monotone voice. As she took the napkin their fingers brushed.

"How did you know..." Snape started to speak softly.

"Alastar mentioned you were apart of the Order, from the way he described you, I just knew." She looked at him slightly puzzled at the tone in his voice.

"I meant no disrespect..."

"Of course not." He responded coldly, pouring himself a cup of tea.

"No one ever does."

Sarcasm. Without a second glance, he quickly turned on his heels and left the Auror standing alone in the great hall. Retreating to his room he slammed the heavy wooden door. Snape was irritated at the fact he had nothing to be irritated about. He practically slammed the cup on the table and paced back and forth. Shower. He threw his cloak onto a chair and unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it on top of the cloak. Pushing the curtain aside, he turned the water on. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror as it started to fog up.

"Fool." He whispered, removing the rest of his clothes. He stepped into the shower and breathed in deeply. He was definatly calmer now, but still agitated. He closed his eyes and leaned against the cool wall. Deep green eyes, petit sensual body. He rubbed his temples. A soft groan left his lips. He needed some kind of release. She had entered his safety zone. She had gotten to him, and she hadn't said more than a couple words. And he had over-reacted. Severely. Absentmindedly he let his hand drop to his side. Slowly he grasped his member and squeezed. He was aching for release. The feeling was so intense, he leaned forward and braced himself against the opposite wall.

"Faster, faster..." He whispered. Her eyes, her lips. The image brought him over the edge. Stars exploded in front of his eye and he opened his mouth in a soundless scream. Emptying himself on the wall, his knees buckled, and he leaned back, breathing hard. Alone again, the water beginning to turn cold. He straightened himself up, rinsed his body off, and exited the shower. Cramming his feelings down, he slid into bed and turned of the lights.


	2. Keeping Up Appearances

How Can I Protect You?

Chapter 2 - Keeping up Appearances

When Snape woke up the next morning he had almost forgotten about the encounter with Odillia. He got dressed slowly, noticing a tear in his usual school robes. Normally he would have ignored it. Did he even have any other robes? Discarding it he pushed his way to the back of the closet, pulling out something similar. This one was black, fitted and accented with deep burgundy around the sleeves and bottom. The material itself had a pattern woven in it. He slipped them on and looked at his reflection. Brushing the strands of hair from his face, the professor realized the man staring back at him was a stranger.

"This is ridiculous." Snape muttered. Who was he trying to impress? But he didn't take them off. Leaving his room with one last glimpse in the mirror, a smirk on his lips.

Severus entered the great hall, his robes fluttered behind him. With his usual menacing walk, he took his seat at the Professor's table. Minerva looked at him, and did a double take.

"Severus?" She had never once seen him wearing anything else but his plain robes.

The potions teacher turned and answered in his usual monotone.

"Is there something you want to say?" At that moment, Odilia took the last seat, next to Snape.

"Professor Snape." She smiled. Snape didn't look over but he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

"Nevermind." McGonagle smiled, turning back to her breakfast.

The two sat in silence for what seemed to be ages, Snape concentrating intently on his eggs. The usual noise of the students chattering away was just a dull ring in his ear.

"So are you going to pull your head out from your ass or have a decent conversation with me?"

Snape choked on a piece of toast. He turned slowly, his eyes deadly.

"Sorry... I didn't catch that."

She was grinning.

"I was talking about your head. Its buried so far up your ass you don't even notice when someone's trying to be nice to you."

She was being sincere, unfortuantly sincerety wasn't something Snape was used to. He gathered himself quickly and set his fork down.

"I hope your better at being an Auror than you are at reading other people." He folded his napkin and set it on his plate.

"Obviously not." Snape stood up with a fourish of his cloak. Odillia smiled.

"Handsome robes." She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear as he stormed out.

Severus and Odilia didn't see much of eachother of the next couple weeks. Snape was the master of avoiding people. Although it was impossible to not run in to her entirely, he found himself stealing glances. He refused to believe however, it was anything more than old memories resurfacing. He had holed himself up in the dungeon when Professor McGonagle had found him.

"Severus? Can I speak to you a moment?"

Snape didn't even look up from his book. "If you must."

Minerva ignored the tone of his voice and continued.

"As you are well aware the Yule Ball is in three days." She paused when she saw the look of dismay on his face.

"As you are also aware all teachers are required to attend."

Snape rolled his eyes.

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of not attending." His voice loaded with sarcasm.

"Good. I'm glad we are on the same page." She turned to exit, but stopped in the doorframe.

"You could try to be civilized to that new Auror, Severus. Shes really a lovely girl."

Severus ignored her.

"I think she fancies you." she added quietly, before slipping down the hall.

He snapped the book shut. This was getting ridiculous. It hadn't just been McGongagal who was trying to set him up, Dumbledore had also made the keen observation that he should ask her to the ball. Snape stared at the cover of the book. His heart had been broken once, and it was not a feeling he wanted to go through again. Lily, his beautiful flower, the only light he had in his life had left a hole in his chest where there had once been a heart. The potions professor moved his hand to open the top right drawer on his desk. He wasn't ready for what it contained. Snape closed his eyes. What would it have been like to lead a normal life? He let his mind slip into one of his fantasies. The future where he had stolen Lily's heart from that dreadful James and they had married instead. He was lost in a world where he was happy, a feeling he could only imagine when Odillia had found him.

"Professor? Are you feeling alright?"

Snapes eyes snapped open, she thought he looked vulnerable, unbeknownst to her she had caught him in one of his most private moments. His lips were parted slightly. His expression quickly changed from peace, to anger.

"How dare you!" His voice cracked. He stood up so fast he pushed his chair over.

"Professor I didn't mean... Your door, it was open." She stammered, crushing the envelope she was holding.

"Can't you get it through your head I don't want anything to do with you?" He came around the corner of the desk.

"Please Professor I have this letter..." She backed up slightly.

"Get out." He whispered, dangerously quiet.

"If you'll just listen for a second..." She pleaded, remaining calm. She held out the letter.

"I SAID GET OUT!" Snape yelled as he snatched the letter from her hand. His glare was menacing, but when he caught her eyes his gaze softened. She said nothing as she exited his room. His heart ached as he watched her walk away.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, even though Snape knew she could not hear him.


	3. Gone

How Can I Protect you?

Sorry this is so short, I separated this from the chapter originally because it didn't flow together.

Chapter 3 - Gone

Severus laid awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He should have gone and apologized to Odillia but he didn't know how. The senario replaying itself over and over in his head, the cruel way he had forced her out of his life. He'd have to tell her tomorrow at breakfast. Severus vowed that he would, before nodding off into a fitful sleep.

The next morning Snape had gotten to the great hall earlier than usual. Nervously he took his seat and poured himself a cup of tea. Slowly students and teachers filtered in, but she did not. Dumbledore gave a short announcement, and still no Odillia. He looked at the empty seat next to him, then to Moody on his other side.

"Your Auror is late Moody." He announced dolefully. Moody was more preoccupied with poring something from his flask into the cup.

"Shes gone. Back to the ministry to take care of some leads."

Snape felt his heart sink.

"Will she return?" He tried to ask nonchalantly.

"Doubt it." Moody replied.

"Not unless she has feeling alright Severus? You haven't touched your meal."

Snape looked down at his breakfast.

"I'm not hungry." He whispered, excusing himself from the table. He walked faster than usual back to his room, a tight feeling in his chest that kept getting worse. He unlocked his door and slammed it shut, doubling over. She was gone, and he had said the most awful things. The dark haired man sat down at his desk and unlocked the top right drawer. Inside was a small envelope that had the word "Severus" written across it in elegant handwriting. He waited for a moment before picking it up, and after held it in his hands trying to muster the strength to open the worn flap. He pulled out the contents of the envelope, it was filled with letters, all addressed to him, from Lily. They always wrote notes back and forth since they weren't always in the same classes. He had saved them all. He rifled through them then stopped when he came across a picture of lily herself, smiling up at him. He held the picture in both hands and felt a twinge in his heart. His first true love. He touched her cheek and a smile flickered across his face, along with a couple tears that managed to squeeze out of his eyes. He put the picture back in the envelope with shaky hands and placed it back into the drawer, locking it tight. Resting his face in his hands, the tears came.

Except for classes, Snape was rarely seen outside of his room. Dumbledore knew what was going on. He had watched Snape ever since he was a small boy. Even as an adult, the wise headmaster could still recognize the pain of love lost. There was only one thing he could do.


	4. Yule Ball

How Can I Protect You?

Chapter 4 - Yule Ball

It was an hour before Snape was required to attend the Yule Ball. He stood at the window, wearing his best dress robes, drinking a bottle of mead. On his desk was a stack of crumpled papers. He had tried to write an apology but sincerity wasn't something that came naturally to him. The attraction had been almost instant, the tension incredibly strong. He could almost have believed it was simply sexual, it had been many years since he had even touched another woman, his first time had been less than memorable, it was just sex and it had left him feeling empty. He often wondered if it would have been different if he had felt the desire and passion he had for Lily.

Snape was posted at the doors of the great hall monitoring the happy couples as they filtered in. Dumbledore came up besides him and warmly placed a hand on his shoulder.

"How are you feeling Severus?"

Snape didn't even look over.

"Fine." He replied.

"Please try to enjoy yourself this evening. You know, things have a way of working themselves out." The headmaster winked at the potions professor and headed into the hall.

Snape raised an eyebrow. The dark-haired man straightened himself up. He felt ridiculous allowing his emotions to get the better of him.

"Psst."

Snape turned slowly. Professor Flitwick was standing behind him, half hidden by a long red curtain. Of course, his size made it easy to hide anywhere.

"Fancy a drink?"

Snape peered at him questionably.

"It will certainly put a smile on even your face." He winked. What was the worst that could happen? He came round the statue and took a swig of the flask. It felt like he had swallowed pure fire.

"This is terrible. What could possibly be in here that is consumable?" He gagged.

"Bourbon." He laughed. "Muggle drink, fantastic if you ask me. More?"

"God no." Snape handed the flask back and shuddered. He could feel it mixing with the half a bottle of Mead he had finished off earlier. Flitwick shoved it back in his vest and chuckled as he walked away. The potions Professor gazed out into the crowd. He could feel the warmth starting to spread through his body. His concentration was broken however when he felt a hand on his arm. He turned so quickly he almost toppled over. Severus's eyes widened. The sounds of laughing children faded away until all he could hear was the beating of his own heart. She was wearing a teal robe with long flowing sleeves. The material shimmered almost as though it was made out of water and faded into a gradual darker shade of teal. She wore a delicate clip in her hair that sparkled whenever it hit the soft light. The alcohol was quickly catching up to him.

"Severus."

He was unable to speak. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"I see teacher attendance must be mandatory or you'd still be brooding in your dungeon." She spoke softly, a smile on her face.

"Brilliant deduction." He responded with a coy smile.

"Now that your here, I have no choice but to ask you to dance." Snape held out an elbow. The music started signaling the champions to enter the hall and lead them all in the first dance. She took his elbow.

"As long as we get out of here before the Weird Sisters start playing."

"Agreed."

Severus proudly led her out onto the dance floor. He had the most beautiful woman at the ball on his arm. Dumbledore and McGonagall exchanged looks of surprise. Following the lead of the other teachers, Snape slipped his arm around her waist, and took her hand in his. Odillia was surprised, the professor was so light on his feet it was almost like flying. They were lost in each other's eyes. The dark-haired man pulled her closer, until he was only inches from her face.

"I wrote you almost a hundred letters telling you how sorry I was, but I never got the nerve to send any of them." He whispered in her ear.

"Severus. I didn't leave because of that. I'm here because I wanted to see you again."

The song ended, and the dance partners bowed to each other. Snape slipped his arm around her waist and led her off the dance floor. They climbed the staircase to the east tower. There Odillia opened the window and leaned on the sill.

"How long can you stay?" The professor murmured, coming up behind her. He leaned over and placed his hands on either sides of hers. She could feel his heartbeat as he nuzzled her neck, a surprisingly sweet guesture.

"Soon I'm afraid."

She felt him tense up and turned to face him.

"Don't go back to that dark place Severus, we'll see each other again."

He looked at her with a pained expression.

"I've been hurt before Odillia. I lost someone who was very dear to me."

Snape's eyes were so intense she felt they might burn into hers. He took her hands in his.

"I don't think I could go through that again."

She held his hands to her chest. Odillia was seeing a whole new Snape. This man who stood before her was in a state of vulnerability, unsure, and maybe even scared.

"Severus, look at me."

Snape did so and tried his best to keep himself together. He had opened himself open up to her, allowed her to see all of him. Something he told himself he'd never do again since Lily's death. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips. He closed his eyes, never had he felt something so tender. In a moment it was gone.

"I have to go now." She pulled herself away and Snape felt the warmth disappearing. He opened his eyes.

"Take your time. I'm only an owl away."

She turned and let go of his hands. Severus watched her as she walked away. A small voice in his head told him not to let her walk away again. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back into his arms he dipped her backwards and kissed her deeply.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" She whispered against his lips.

"There is no doubt in my mind."

He touched her cheek and nodded. Snape didn't know when he'd see her again. Reluctantly he let her go.

"Take care of yourself Severus. Remember, I'm only an owl away."

The older man nodded and forced a smile. As she left he started to feel loneliness ebbing its way through his heart. It was going to be a long school year.

Chapter four will start up at the beginning of the Order of the Phoenix


End file.
